Author: Snommis
Fandom: Sherlock
Characters: John/Sherlock, John/Mary, Lestrade
Warning: PG, illness(Sherlock), drug abuse (John - unwanted)
Length: Medium
Status: Completed
Sherlock gets himself hospitalised, John meets Mary and more than one case turns out to be depressingly simple. Contains some references to several ACD stories, among these ‘The Sign of the Four’. No one will gain a wife from this, though.
“I think it’s time you accepted the fact that he’s more than just your best friend,” Lestrade interrupted.
“Please, not you as well,” John sighed heavily. “We’re –“
“No, no. Hang on. That’s not what I meant,” Lestrade immediately cut him off, holding his hands up in a placating gesture.
“What do you mean, then?”
“You love him.”
John did not even think about arguing the point – it would only defeat the purpose of seeking advice. “And?”
“And I think you need to sit down and figure out whether or not you have anything left to give that isn’t already Sherlock’s.”
John felt his shoulders tensing in protest, but damn it if that did not hit close to home.
“Please, not you as well,” John sighed heavily. “We’re –“
“No, no. Hang on. That’s not what I meant,” Lestrade immediately cut him off, holding his hands up in a placating gesture.
“What do you mean, then?”
“You love him.”
John did not even think about arguing the point – it would only defeat the purpose of seeking advice. “And?”
“And I think you need to sit down and figure out whether or not you have anything left to give that isn’t already Sherlock’s.”
John felt his shoulders tensing in protest, but damn it if that did not hit close to home.
At AO3
This is so beautiful, I just have to quote something:
Would you kindly consider never leaving my sight? Why? Oh, because I'm a possessive, obsessive and arrogant addict who has decided that I need you a lot like oxygen and puzzles. So if you wouldn't mind terribly I'll just go ahead and deprive you of any semblance of a normal life. In fact, of any kind of life that doesn't revolve so entirely and exclusively around me that I'm allowed to take anything I feel like, whenever I feel like it without ever offering anything in return. Problem?(Sherlock on his feelings for John)
“If I were to stay here for the rest of my life, would you… would it be with you? Or would I one day wake up and find you gone because you’ve grown bored with London or something?”(John propositioning - in other words: Won't you get bored with me?)
“It wasn’t supposed to do that. It was not supposed to do that. Uh… John? You might want to open the windows. It’s uh – slightly toxic,"(Sherlock, when one of his experiments explodes)
This story unites two things I consider very essential in Sherlock fiction:
John accepts himself. John Watson in the series is struggling between the normalcy (girlfriends) and living, breathing, in a way. I am not saying that John is gay or any of that sorts. That's wishful thinking. But he keeps on entangling with women while he does not really want a relationship himself. He likes the idea of relationships, though. I believe that the ultimate step for him will be accept that truth. That he doesn't have to hide behind masks. Because that's not who he is.
And the second aspect I consider essential is Sherlock's acceptance of his own faults. Sherlock in the series is aware of his short-comings (e.g. with Irene, or when he asks whether his behavior was 'not good') but he does not accept them. It's not a matter of improving, god beware, no. That'd be out of character. It's a matter of coming to terms with himself. Which he hasn't. Sherlock's quirky, he's arrogant, rude. John has introduced self-consciousness into his life. And I believe that the ultimate step resulting out of this will be acceptance of his short-comings and kindness. Not always. Most often not. But the ability to respect other people's mistakes (sometimes). Right now, he doesn't have the ability yet. But he's scraped at the surface, e.g. when he saved Irene.
I put these two aspects out there as an expectation. As a fellow author, I read characters differently than others might do. To me, Sherlock's story will be "over" when this happens. Good fanfiction depict these two traits. The authors picked up the essential role they play in each other's life.
This story includes both aspects.
Okay, I'll never become BFF with Mary. She wasn't annoying in here, so I guess that'll be the nearest to a love confession she'll ever get from me. To me, she's just another of John's boring girlfriends. Where's the difference between Jeanette and Mary? Just because she's canon doesn't make her special. Or more understanding. Or more interesting. Not to me. And I am glad that this author did not insist on describing her as such a wonderful person, and so on. Yes, Sherlock put up with her. Because she was slightly more agreeable than others before her. But she had her flaws, too, and didn't push. That's why I can respect her in this fiction. I can respect her as a woman.
